I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
