Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
wakey wakey hands off snakey
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
