You really coming over, don't trick.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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