I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i think i just lost a toe
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
