Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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