I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
