whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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