She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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