Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
