apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
