i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
