that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
