Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
