so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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