I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize