So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
