how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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