Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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