Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
