I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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