i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nicole vs. Life
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
