AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
why is half of my head shaved?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize