hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My balls are so social today.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
