were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
should my penis look like a turkey
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
