Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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