you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
