I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
