I just made out with a guy for $7.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
