A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
