she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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