we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
