She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
