just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
