he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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