I CAN MOONWALK!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
