i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
