Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
