i just wanna soil my oats bro
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
