Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wish there were birth control emojis
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
