So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Holy sore nipples Batman
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