where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
