yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Randomize