i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
