also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i think i have herpe
just one?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I party with great urgency now.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
