We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
