toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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