They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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