dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
