If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
