hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I want a musical about memes.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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