Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
