whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
