I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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