The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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