Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This house was built for laser tag.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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